


Two Hours

by choppedmint (forevermint)



Series: The Road Not Taken [23]
Category: The Morganville Vampires - Rachel Caine
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forevermint/pseuds/choppedmint
Summary: Written to the emotion prompt: Sorrow
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Series: The Road Not Taken [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558276





	Two Hours

Penny was seven. Looking back it was far too easy to remember her that way. Just before and that was fine. Julius preferred to remember a before.  
Penny was at the door of his and Marcel's room. Her expression concerned and her face a little red from a fear. Julius wasn't really sure why she was up at all. He closed the lid of his flip phone, setting it on the bed-side table. "What is it, honey?" Her expression prompted his own voice to drop a bit as he stood up.  
"Dad's still in the bathroom. The showers running," said Penny.   
The use of 'dad' had started with hesitation, more so for himself and Marcel than any other relative-related term for the rest of the Goldmans. But her confidence in it had grown a lot stronger and Julius was beginning to tell when she was referring to him or when she was referring to Marcel.   
Slightly puzzled, he asked, "There's another bathroom upstairs." Which she knew.  
But Penny was shaking her head. "He's been in there for two hours and he doesn't answer when I knock."  
Still puzzled Julius walked toward the door, taking Penny's sweaty hand.   
(A flicker of worry tickling at the back of his mind but he pushes it away. Worry did nothing.) Walking down the hall and turning the corner he knocked sharply (he refused to think it was insistently) on the door. "Marcel?" he called. "We're cutting off the hot water." Don't smile as a coping mechanism, don't smile as a coping mechanism.  
He could hear the sound of the shower running and it did for another very, very long minute. Then the sound of it being turned off. The door was open a second later (too soon, Julius was sure, for even a vampire to get dressed, super speed or not) and there was Marcel, pants and shirt on but hair wet and scruffy. He rubbed a hand over his mouth (stop hiding your expression from me! Julius wanted to scream) and when his hand dropped away he was smiling. "It's Texas. The cold water runs out before the hot." He reached out and ruffled Penny's hair to match his. "Sorry kiddo. Lost track of time. Was there something I missed?"  
Their daughter was too perceptive, even at this young age. She'd gone to Julius, concerned even if she didn't know why. But now she grinned up at Marcel, holding in a cough, and said, "Read to me?" The vampire patted her on the shoulder and said, "Sure! Go pick a story out, okay?"   
She had her own room, upstairs and down the hall, but she seemed to prefer to hang around the converted garage that Julius and Marcel used as their room. Julius wondered how many nights it was a nightmare and how many nights it was the draw of Marcel reading to her that caused her to spend all night there. Marcel must have read through a dozen Magic Tree House.  
Once Julius heard the bang of her feet overhead he turned back to Marcel. Marcel didn't run. But he always looked like he wanted to.   
"I was just thinking," he said slowly, as if he needed to justify himself before Julius asked.   
Julius believed that had been what Marcel had been doing. The skin around his face was wet but nothing else. Sitting on the counter, maybe, and making some small effort for Penny when he knew she was there; he’d stuck his head under the shower and then come out. But it was more than that too. With some hesitation Julius stepped forward, arms going around the other man's shoulders. Both their smiles had dropped at some point. He didn't know when.   
"I know," he murmured. And he knew what about too. It really was just thinking. Nagging thinking that poked into Marcel's head and sometimes ... sometimes he told Julius about them. Sometimes he couldn't talk and that was worse.  
And sometimes it proved he'd made just the wrong sort of move because Marcel had stiffened against him and Julius hurriedly dropped his arms away and backed off.   
"Sorry." They almost both said it at once, voice low, both a little hurt.   
Marcel scrubbed a hand through his wet hair. Above them the pound of feet again. "It'll be fine," he said, looking at Julius. "Promise. I ... promise."  
Then he was gone, blurring past Julius and not stopping on the way toward there room. Julius looked after him. He knew what Marcel wanted. He knew that the only reason he hadn't was because Julius - and now Penny - were there. He knew that if he ever tried to explain that to anyone, with those simple sentences, what it sounded like. That was the context to a person outside of Morganville. That Marcel was human and thus no more could be said. But Marcel was an immortal, a thousand years old give or take a couple years. An immortal who didn't want to be one. The out he was looking for wasn't something you could talk to a mortal doctor about. What he was looking for was hardly even allowed and very dangerous and very new. He didn’t want to be a vampire, never had. And that might as well have been wishing for death because the cure was worse than the poison in Julius’ opinion.  
Julius walked into the still steam-filled bathroom, closing the door and sitting on the lip of the tub. Marcel was prone to take long showers and often. They were usually scalding hot or freezing cold unless Julius interfered. Marcel couldn't feel anything but the pain no matter how long he tried for his nerves to react to the temperature. Or he'd hold Julius close to him for the same reason. Those were the things Julius knew about. Or rather what Marcel allowed him to know about. Julius could guess at other things. And with a 'cure' so temptingly there for those who wished to go through the hassle of getting it ... well.  
I lose him either way.  
Julius stood, rubbing at the steamed over mirror but all it did was smudge his own reflection.

**Author's Note:**

> ORIGIN "Sorrow: Two Hours": The title was something that came second. In fact, the whole story had to be moved to a different prompt, because originally it was for one of the more positive stories. However, though it started with me wanting to write a bit more about how Penny was adopted it quickly - and sadly - shifted to the darker day interactions between Penny and Marcel. The story was then cut in half, leaving the 'Disgruntlement' side of the story behind and placing this one here. I tried to find of a lesser way to show Marcel not wanting to admit he was hurting. As usual, I'm immensely sad when writing this. It was another reason why I did not want to directly touch on Marcel's death but still show that his situation was very real.


End file.
